What do you call a spherical Bible?

A canon ball.

What did St. Peter use to chop firewood?

The axe of the apostles.

Which vegetable did the Magi tell about Jesus' birth?

Lettuce. (Oh come lettuce adore him).

What is the world's oldest profession?

Taxonomy. Yhwh told Adam to name the plants and animals.

What made Adam the first redneck?

Yhwh made him out of red (adamah) clay.